Jackie Ho
Why is Jackie O such an icon? She basically let JFK use her as a doormat since he liked to "fuck them two at a time" (Head points to whoever ID's that reference). Seriously, how's she a role model? Now Lady Head, there's a fucking role model. Did I ever tell you about how we were on break at Cocktails in the Country and she split my lip? Seriously, true story. And all I tried to do was dutch oven her. POW! I'm bleeding. Anyhoo, we were talking about Jackie. So she let's JFK run around (I know, I know "She had to keep up appearances.") then, when he gets killed, she gold-digs her way into a shipping magnate's bed.
As the Ash-hole said (I think - we were drunk) everyone's all like "She's got such style. And she redecorated some of the White House." And the big controversy about her was that she was a secret smoker.
Explain it to me.
Also, I'll be very impressed by anyone who can tell me what the last line of Roadhouse is. Logan Square peeps not eligible for this.
posted by The Head @ 2:56 PM
8 comments
8 Comments:
dude, we still don't know which element of the trickybone dance is supposed to stop al-quaeda.
Is i the broken arm swing?
Ding ding ding! We have a winner! The broken arm swing will provide a blanket of freedom under which we can all slumber peacefully and get dutch ovened by me.
It's not the Godfather II quote about Fredo and cocktail waitresses. The quote is Kennedy specific.
I think that Jackie gets extra classy points just for being the opposite of a Kennedy. I mean, when your brother-in-law once drove a lady to an icy, watery grave at Chappaquiddick, you come off looking pretty good just for wearing a pillbox hat and having a miscarriage.
Frankly, though I loves me some Kennedys (mostly the kind that drive people to their icy, watery graves) I've never gotten the big whoop about either Jackie or her husband. I mean, he didn't really do much except nearly plunge us into nuclear war (which is so less hot than an icy, watery grave) and do speed in the Oval Office.
And I'll allow Stephen Colbert, as Mr. Noblet, to teach us all the greatest lesson JFK has to teach. "Once, Castro dressed up as Marilyn Monroe and gave John F. Kennedy a case of syphillis so bad it eventually blew the back of his head off."
Teddie also had an enormous friggin' head. As bad as Dennis Miller is I love the line "worse aim than Ted Kennedy at a Bennigan's urinal."
ED, you can't just pick quotes from IMDB to guess. I'm trying to find a Roadhouse scholar, not a lottery winner.
i had to look up "dutch-oven" on urban dictionary.
i think i'll take my chances with al-quaeda, of course, my half-brothers farts were once mistaken for a dogs . . and some capabilities really are genetic. thats not a challenge, i'm just sayin' . . .
Actually my farts smell wonderful. I don't know why she hurt me.
I dont even want to dignify your remark about how your farts smell, but i will say that no one hit you. Remember? YOU FELL.
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