To all the ladies in the house

He's hitting on you! Yes, he is. You're in a bar drinking. He met you 4 minutes ago. He's not looking for a pen pal, he's got way too many lady friends that he isn't sleeping with. He wants to get on you. No one is that interesting. Even you. Ask yourself why he seems so interested in your undergraduate dissertation on Naomi Wolf's library of work. He's not! He wants to bang you.

Sorry. When I worked in bars I got to see the carnival of men hitting on women WAAAYYY to much. I assume that a lot of the women know they're being hit on and either A) Are interested in the guy, or B) Are sickoes who are amusing themselves by dangling this poor schlub like a worm on a hook, or C) Getting free drinks sista! But I know for a fact some are suprised to find this out.

Men are horndogs. Get used to it. I hate everything about men hitting on women. The body language, the fake laughter, the fake interest, EVERYTHING!

Except when I did it. Then it was cool. I'm a smooth pimp though.


Also ladies, lose the frilly miniskirts. You look terrible in them. All of you. I know they're supposed to be fun and flirty and show a lot of leg, but no one looks good in them. No one. Normal short or mini-skirts are OK but those pleated ones make you look awful.