Exile

Requests for a kidnapping have gone unheeded on my own blog. I even went so far as to tell those bastards where i would be.

Some fruit named Apple had the audacity to condescend to me. Today. Of all days. No one condescends to me!!! I am the Queen!! My complaints are always justified and never whiney. Its just that no one properly understands my pain and frustration. . .

Its clear that my readers have mutinied.

Thus, dear inhabitants of this Headland, i have been forced into a noble exile. Until tomorrow. When i mature. Maybe.

As long as i'm here, though, and Head, the ruler, is not, i thought we might just have a casual little discussion about your views on his leadership. I mean, i'm sure you're all loyal and the Head is a wonderful leader. I'm sure. I'm not questioning that. Nope.

It just occurred to me, how great it is that you're all a part of such a profitable blog and how grateful you must be to the Head for his strong leadership and brilliant economic policy.

What? You didn't know this blog was generating revenues? I mean, i didn't think it was a secret. The Head simply mentioned to me in a few emails that the blog was making tons of money, although, it seems most of the profits were generated from the sales of quips in the comments section. I'm sure he was exxagerating, though. He must have been. After all, its not like the Head is sitting around enjoying the goodlife drinking fine wines and liqueurs, sating himself gluttonously on piles of nutritionless consumer-food.