So forget Oreos, eat Cool J cookies.

Ladies Love Cool James has to at least tie the Beastie Boys in the nonsensical lyrics category.

Welcome to this wonderful day in the Headosphere!
The Owl's funding finally kicked in so not only do I get a raise and a shiny new office but I am losing oversight.
See, this is pretty much a faux new job that doesn't really change my job very much. I'm still working on basically the same projects for the same guy. My money just comes from elsewhere. The thing is, I have to make sure I'm over in the other building sometimes so the admin doesn't catch on that it's a faux appointment. So, a slave with two masters is a free man. Am I here? Am I over there? No one knows!!!! Maybe I'm home playing GTA. BWA HA HA HA!
And career-wise it's great because not only did I get a promotion, but now am "working for" one of the elder statesmen in the field. Also, I actually may backdoor my way into some projects over there.

I'm teaching a lot this semester and am going to try to get in this new program for researchers/ med school educators. See, since the molecular revolution, there has been a huge decline in young scientists being produced that are qualified to teach shit like medical neuroanatomy, gross anatomy (it's all fucking gross - ba dump bump crash), and the like. So this new program they're starting is 3 years of funding. You do research for 3/4 of the year and in the fall, you have protected time to teach. It's sweet, the first year you actually take one of the classes (I guess that will be 23rd grade for me). Sweet, a whole semester where my only responsibility is taking one friggin' class. The next year you start teaching. And the 3rd year you have your own class. Not only will that guarantee me funding for my grooundbreaking research but it will increase my marketability a shitload for faculty positions.

We also have a big exciting grant we're sending in that I'm actually excited about. I just got brought into it. I basically just have to read some shit for a couple of days to catch up. Starbuck's here I come. I'm such a pimp.
If neuroscience was a chick I'd fuck it.

Elsewhere, I'm regretting ever showing Lady Head how to use NetFlix. Now she has all of these horrible movies in the queue. We are beginning to have queue wars. She puts hers on the top, I change it, she changes it back, etc.

Also, I'm annoyed by the aging drug culture. Now up to maybe your mid-twenties you're supposed to do a shitload of drugs. That's great. But past the mid twenties you should really tone it down to only booze, weed, and prescription painkillers/anxiolytics.
I have this friend, Ratboy. Great guy, but everytime I talk to him he's all like "Ugh, I rolled last night and feel like shit today" or the like. He's 30. With a job. Seriously buddy, you're thirty. And this was the guy we used to call "Buzzkill." Basically he'd start the paranoid introspective shit (that normally happens at 5am) about 5 minutes after we started doing whatever we're doing. So I can't believe he's still going.
Also, somewhat related, is this fact: Just because you use drugs does not mean you know anything about how they work. Lady Head used to teach a psychopharmacology class for nonmajors and is intimately familiar with this concept (as in people in her class don't subscribe to it). I'm so sick of the half-educated spiels people put forth. Prime example of how a little education is a bad thing.

Oh, and if you've ever went to the hospital for a drug related reason it immediately becomes the most severe case the doctors have ever seen. Wow, you should be written up in JAMA.

Like Mike Schank in American Movie. He tells this story about how he went to the hospital for an LSD overdose and he almost died and the doctors said if he didn't have the "downers" mixed in with the tabs he would have. Of course this was the worst case ever seen.
It's fucking acid! You can't overdose on it. Well I guess theoretically you can (with 300 times the effective dose), but you can overdose on anything.
"Dude, did you hear about the guy who tripped for the first time and he's in an asylum and he thinks he can't lay down because he thinks he's a glass of orange juice?"

It's like the alcoholic thing. I always see people in my age group or younger that's all "I'm an alcoholic." Hey peckerwood, you don't know what alcoholism is. Walk into my grandfather's bar at 11am on a Tuesday. That's fucking alcoholism. So here's the Head Test for Alcoholism.
If you've lost two out of these 5 things to drinking: job, marriage, teeth, limb, organ; you're probably an alcoholic.
If you haven't, I'm not saying you don't have a drinking problem. I do know people my age that are alcoholics, but just because you drink more than your coworkers does not mean you're a sot. Or maybe you're a fuckup to begin with and the hooch is a symptom.
"I was having 3-4 glasses of wine each night 4-5 nights a week. I was spiralling out of control. I'm an alcoholic." Real Simple and the like always have these stories. You read them and are all "Are you fucking kidding me?"

OK. Worky time. Off to the great known!