Get away from me you creepy fuckers! (warning: petty content)

Why is it wherever I go to work there's some creepy asshole that hangs out in the lobby all day? You know the type, stares at everyone when they leave lab to go to the bathroom, there at all hours, usually bad hygeine.
In Chicago there were multiple guys like this. Well, we now have one down here.
This guy's a treat. He's obviously an undergrad. An undergrad majoring in business, economics, or the ilk. What's he doing in a building dedicated entirely to the biological science? Who fucking knows?
Anyhoo, he's here all day and night studying. Whatever. Except he has long animated arguments with his mom on the cell phone when people are trying to read or something down there. Once he started an argument and I was down there. As I was just about to tell him to go somewhere else I heard the word "methamphetamine." Ooh, that sounds like gossip. now, this kid isn't a biker. He's a skinny, pale nerdlinger. Turns out he's arguing with his mommy because she found some pills or something. He's all "I know what they do." and "I need them to focus."
After about 2 minutes of this my anger at him being discourteous overcame my lust for the misfortune of others and I told him to quiet down or go somewhere else. He ended the phone call.
Now to the other thing. He always has his bare feet up on a chair. So the busybody of the floor said she was oging to say something so I left it alone. But after a week or two she hadn't done anything so I saw him and told him that some people didn't appreciate that, this wasn't his living room, etc.
He was all "I'm sorry, I didn't know, thatnks for telling me." and he put his feet down.
Everything's good.
Then yesterday, I saw him with his fucking feet up again! There was a lab meeting going on at a different table so I didn't want to say anything.
Gah, it's like he's slapping me in the face.
I narrowed down my responses to four options.
1) Sit down at the table and give him the "Listen man, I'm just asking for some courtesy here."
2) Periodically I see him in the weightroom now. Same conversation as 1) but right after I finish a set of bench press. Plus I'll add some intimidating phrases and body language.
3) Sic Lady Head on him.
4) This is my personal favorite. I noticed he keeps his books and shit in a cupboard in the fucking lobby! Anyway, steal one of his books. Not all of them because then foul play is clear. One of them will drive him crazy - "Did I take it home?", "Did I leave it out?", "Did someone take it?"
Plus he's obviously an obsessive student and can't study now and his grades may slip.
Plus books are fucking expensive.
Downside of this is that he will think he "won" the battle of his feet against me.
Thoughts?

I can't believe I am 31 years old, have a PhD, a wife, and a house, and am plotting against a little fuckwad like this.