The Head on Ladies Fashion
What to wear:
Softball shirts - love them. Boobies, boobies, boobies.
Butt shorts (show off that ba-dunk-a-dunk)
Thermal underwear type shirts
Black eyeliner. Lots of it.
Acceptable piercings: eyebrow, nose, ears (as many as you want as long as they're on the outside rim), bellybutton (as long as you have a nice stomach - otherwise it looks like a meathook in a slaughterhouse), tongue, bottom lip, nipple (but if you're gonna do one, do both).
Flannel pajama bottoms
My shirts.
Boxers (not for underwear but as shorts).
Little black cocktail dresses.
Sundresses.
Adidas tracksuits. Tops or bottoms.
Wifebeaters.
Spanish flamenco skirts.
Shoes with thick high heels.
Khakis that show off that peach of an ass.
What not to wear:
Those shirts or dresses that have a constriction high on your waist
Denim skirts - hate them
Any sandal that has a strap that goes over your big toe.
Too much makeup ('cept eyeliner). Seriously ladies, you look like Tammy Faye.
Unacceptable piercings: Cheek, philtrum area (above the top lip), inside of the ear (that little part that semiblocks the canal), any vaginal ones.
These skirts (photo here ).
Grandma underwear.
Skirts with weird uneven hems.
Those roman shoes with the ties that go up your ankle (yeah I thought they went extinct in the 80's too but I saw a girl in them the other day).
Camel toe. 'nuff said.
Those high shoes that don't have a heel. I'm not talking platform shoes here, it's like those ones that put your foot in the same position as high heeled shoes but don't have heels. Help me out with the explanation somebody.
OK, that's it for now. Not a complete list by any means but I have to go meet that guy soon.
posted by The Head @ 11:14 AM
11 comments
11 Comments:
I'm not sure that fake tits count as "Fashion".
Miss Friday we look foward to your report.
I disagree. Is working out fashion? Anything internal is not fashion.
We're strictly talking style here. I guess tatoos would be fashion though.
Tattoos
Mr. Wells, where have you been?
Hmm. Alright. I'm not all sure about this but i approve of: softball shirts (polo shirts are haught, too), sundresses, little black cocktail dresses, wifebeaters, spanish flamenco shirts, shoes with thick high heels
those shoes with the huge heel all around? You are so RIGHT-- they make peoples' feet look like hooves.
I'm not sure this post is as exhaustive as your last and Ladies' fashion is really much more complicated but it will suffice as your first effort. Of course, not being gay, you are at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to determining what makes chicks look hot. I know, doesn't make sense but its true.
Hey, I have the T & A of a prepubescent boy. What am I supposed to do - get implants?
More importantly - Head, you missed one of the most egregious fashion trends of late. The poncho. It sucks. We can only hold our breath for the truly cold weather when this trend will, god-willing, be over. Although who knows? Practicality rarely influences women's fashions. As demonstrated by the student I saw on the train the other day, the one carrying her backpack in one hand because you can't put a backpack on over a poncho. Oy.
Hot Rod
Shit. I really pissed you people off with that one guest-post, ah?
Christ-on-a-Crutch, i thought this was a comic, sarcastic, all-in-good-fun blog but evidently one dare not differ on opinion of fashion or cultures surrounding it.
Peace Head, i'll be reading.
We are fashionistas around here. As you can tell by The Ash-hole and I in pictures. Only the finest wifebeaters and mesh shorts for us!
Yeah those shoesdo make their feet look like hooves. What's a better description?
Bella it just wouldn't be the same without you here. Don't leave us.
And it's not comedy, it's my life.
Its possible i was having a "sensitive" day.
It happens. I've tried to root out all sensitivity but i haven't been drinking enough lately.
Well, get on it sista! Martinis all around!
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