Dr. Doolittle eat your heart out.

Well Christmas has come and gone. A delightful time. As good catholics, we had a couple of our favorite heathens The Ash-holes visiting for the 4th out of 5 Christmases. They arrived Weds. and left Sun. Besides the airport runs I only left the house 4x - once to the club for dinner, once to the liquor store, once to Burger King for Kong Whoppers, and once to get Mexican food. The Ash-hole was being a sissy on the whole Kong Whopper thing but when I went I found that the Kong Whopper is merely the double whopper and not the triple. I was conflicted as to whether or not to get the triple instead but it was The Official Kong Whopper Night so I ended up in keeping with the letter of the law and got the double. The funny thing is, this resulted in me eating less food than I would normally eat from Burger King, since I normally get two normal whoppers and fries rather than one double whopper. There's no way there should be a sandwich on the menu bigger than a sandwich called the "Kong Whopper." I'm sure they figured that less people are going to eat the triple so they compromised their integrity to sell more of them.
We drank a shitload and watched some truly awful movies. I prefer watching really bad movies with The Ash-holes because I believe we all enjoy ourselves more yelling at the screen and talking to each other making fun of it while drinking heavily than sitting quietly through a good movie where after 2 hours we all say "I enjoyed that movie." and that's it. Lowlights include: the motorcycle ninja fight between the chicks in Torque (where they actually used the motorcycles to try and hit each other and also used them to parry blows from the other motorcycle.) and Ice Cube barking, the talking while running or hitting as well as the steroid stuff in The Program, and all of Four Brothers which has got to be the worst film of the year that I've seen.

In Chicago News: I heard that Hot Rod (a vegetarian for as long as I've known her) was so irritated at the wait to get into a BBQ place that she said if they ever got in she'd eat a rack of ribs and she did. Awaiting confirmation but, if true, that is beyond awesome.

And now to the title of this post. We've had Nala for just over a year. When we first got her she was absolutely terrified of the other cats. For the first 2 weeks we had to keep her in her own room. Then gradually we would open the door. Well she went and shit and pissed in the cat tree and we threw it out. Many said that she would not come around because this was the first time since she left her mother that she'd even seen another cat, much less the 3 assholes that we have. But I had faith in Lady Head. She gradually made changes to which room she was in which helped and Nala seemedfairly content. Then a few months later, she move all the cats' food and litter boxes into the same room (before Nala had her food and litterbox separate from the others) that helped immensely and nala began tolerating the other cats to a point even eating close to them. Then after a few more minor changes with cat trees (to one where she's less closed off), Nala began venturing out more at night and sometimes during the day. Then Weds. We moved the cat tree into our bedroom. Now Nala is fully integrated. She's out all the time and is fine with the other cats.
Lady Head is The Cat Whisperer.

Update: Hot Rod did eat ribs.
Update two after rereading the post: Despite its awful grammar, etc. I was not drunk when writing this post.

Asshole Part Deux

Wow. I just emailed the Evil Doctor this article commenting that I can't believe someone is such a pompus asshole when I recognized the name and found that I posted this article by the same jerk-off in my blog before here.

For the lazy, the old article was the "Walk-man is ruining music and our society even though I once listened to Mahler's Ressurection Symphony on a vertical Alpine train as a thunderstorm crashed all around and I was moved to tears and masturbated furiously."

God, this guy is a douchebag.

Oh, the humanity!

I was going to avoid discussing any food or beverage for a while since some of my loyal readership are thinking I'm getting a little too hoity-toity with that stuff (condsidering this is coming from a drunken film snob, a drunken vegetarian, and a drunken fat guy I shouldn't really worry about it) but this is too much.

For the anti-clicking crowd, it's announcing a new DIET whiskey.

Apparently I'm incapable of not drinking.

Since we've been hitting it so hard recently I figured I'd take a couple of days to dry out before this weekend. So yesterday I figured I'd work, work out, go home and watch a movie.
But then at 4pm our boss comes in and says he just got the letter from the chancellor saying that he got tenure. Off to the bar! (Which was followed by long, rambling conversations with Kid Awesome and Fat Nick).
Happy Holidays Liver!

P.S. When we got home I discovered Orson doesn't like John O'Hara. Out of all the books he could have savaged he destroyed two by him.

T.G.I.M.!

Cuz I just can't eat or drink anymore.
Thursday we just stayed home and we had a Head Party. Sounds debaucherous but it's just Lady Head and I drinking and me dancing around to cheese-rock. We watched "Inside Deep Throat" which I highly recommend. (Recently, I'm 3 for 3 on dcoumentary rentals: "Inside Deep Throat", "Overnight" and "Guerrilla: The Taking of Patty Hearst").
Friday we had dinner at the Mad Russian's (and his delightful wife - not Russian). He's a new character in the Headoshphere. We met him at some of our wine tastings and he's quite fond of the Head's. Anyway, we met Jeff and Kristen at his house. When we arrived he had caviar, pates, olives, and some other stuff out and we drank 2 bottles of champagne. He then took Jeff and I into his monstrous cellar to pick the wines to go with dinner. Pretty cool. We ended up with some dusty ones. Then we had lobster bisque, another bottle of wine (. Sausage and leek appetizer, another bottle. Scallops, another bottle. Then we had a bottle in between. Then the main course was lamb chops and russian potatoes. 2 more bottles. Finally we ended with cheese and sauternes. And then coffee. Well Jeff and I decided that it was ridiculous that his hot tub is just sitting out there so we grabbed a bottle of Basil Hayden and in we went. Everyone else stayed inside. About 2/3 of the bottle later we got out and went home.

Next day, we get up, eat breakfast, chief up to kill the hangover, and go to rake leaves. For those of you that haven't been to Head Manor, it's got trees. Big trees with lots of leaves. Two or three hours later or so, we're done (with the front yard). Go in, screw off.

Then at 7 we have Jeff and Kristen's Christmas party. Goes a little something like this: champagne, champagne, vodka martini, gin martini, gin martini, shiraz, cabernet, gin martini, cognac (Germain-Robin Reserve - nice job Jeff!), cognac, HOME!

Sunday we wake up, have breakfast. I get housed in poker. Then at 5:30 we have a wine dinner at Amerigos. It was a nice, private-invitation (ooh! We're so special) event. We meet Jeff and Kristen their (they're still not sick of us...yet... and they need nicknames. They used to be Ron Livinston and Angie Everhart but that's just too long to type out). We have some great wines, and David brings some bottles from his cellar. We have roasted chicken and artichoke soup and the main course is veal saltimbocca.

You can get used to living like this.

But it was kind of difficult getting up this morning.

We managed to plan a viewing of "The Ice Pirates" this weekend.

And I was going to put it in another post but I have a ton of shit to do today so:
RIP Richard Pryor. He was the King of Comedy. We will definitely have a Richard Pryor memorial party soon.

Probably the most important thing you'll ever read.

In playing with our cats I've noticed clear differences in their abilities. Let's use the string example. You know, when you're shooting the string over their heads or along the ground. Yeah. cats love this.

Kraepelin is the worst at it. Him lunging at the string looks like he's having a seizure. Limbs all akimbo, often jumping with both forepaws extended, which makes him land in a poor position for another takeoff. He's impatient and his eye-paw coordination doesn't seem to be very good whcih is weird, considering how much damage he normally does around the house. What's that you say? Maybe he does so much damage because he's such a clutz? Well played stranger. I'll definitely take that into consideration. Although it does remove from teh equation much of the malice towards objects he clearly possesses.

Slightly better than Kraepelin is Purkinje. She has a similar spastic lunge at the string that Kraepelin has. Also a huge proponent of the double-paw reach even when the string's position does not warrant that. Both of these seem unable to wait and judge when the most opportune time for string assault is and often overextend themselves when the string is located in a bad position (such as moving away from them on the backswing), making future attempts less than textbook. All-in-all, these two are our most excitable cats and I think they just get too worked up to strategize and enact a plan to actually capture the hated string.

Surprisingly, Nala is pretty proficient at the string game. Unlike the other two, she's patient and will, like the praying mantis, wait for a good spot to attack. She's is also able to accurately gauge when two paws are needed or only one. Proper use of the one-paw grab is essential to become an expert in string-catching.

The absolute best at string is Penelope, and it's not close. Seriously, she's a fucking ninja. She's rip that fucking string right out of your hand. She hardly ever does the two-paw lunge. She's incredibly patient and will just sit there, seemily uninterested in the string, but tracking it nontheless. Then, all of a sudden - WHAM! - one paw shoots out with lightning speed and grasps that fucker. One other aspect to string is actually catching the string in the paw. See, contacting it is not enough, you must extend the claws at the right time and angle based on the strings location, direction, and speed in order to catch it. This is another facet where P-Lo dominates the other cat. Very little wasted movements. One swipe - one kill. Where Nala can hit the string fairly often, she often has some trouble locking it in the claw.
Interestingly, P-Lo is our only nonpurebred cat. We rescued her from a shelter in Chicago so maybe her life on the streets is what honed her skills at killin'. The ohter ones are clearly fancypants, blue-blooded pussies. Represent!

Weekend Update

Well I lost the bet with The Canadian. I lost 2.5 inches to his 3.25. Man, if only I exercised in the past month. Weird considering that I was doing good until the bet, then I basically didn't work out again. Well, the problem was that it's the holiday season which, in the House of Head, means near constant eating, drinking, and being merry.
Friday was a 3-way birthday party. The Canadian, Erin, and Cal (John and Mac's 1 year old). So how do you entertain a 1yo? Well, based on my observations of everyone there, you entertain a 1yo by getting drunk and saying stupid things to me. In all actuality the party was a lot of fun. Good crowd, good food, good booze, etc.
Then we watched Project Grizzly. It's about this nutjob up in Canada that had some experience with grizzly bear some years ago and decided to make an indestructable suit so he can confront the bear. Guy's a total tool.

**************minor spoiler alert************************

And the worst part is he never even fought a bear! Near the end he's in the suit, there's a bear over the next ridge but he decides he can't walk that well over the rough terrain so that's that.

Saturday we had to come into work to run an assay. -blech- So we slept in and then dropped some money off at Mac and John's that we owed them. While there we decided that we should do dinner that night. Since it was short notice for a babysitter I made the executive decision that it would be a Whopper night. (I had decided as soon as the waist bet was over I was mowing me some fucking whoppers). But Lady Head and John decided they wanted some McDonald's so, after work and poker, I went to both places. Then we played Trivial Pursuit Pop Culture Edition (we lost to them AGAIN! 6 pie to 6 though.) and then watched Guerilla: The Taking of Patty Hearst - which I recommend highly.

Sunday was our typical Sunday. Cooking, drinking, smoking, gambling, excellent cartoons.

Today we found out that our assay finally worked (4th time's a charm I guess) which is the last thing the reviewers needed for this manuscript. I also discovered when you're lab is grant rich, you can pay others to do your work for you (thank you Electron Microscope Core!)

Tonight is the last in the "Around the World in 80 Wines" series. 13 weeks. It's been quite a journey. We are trying to get them convinced to start one up again after the new year. I mean, what the fuck are we supposed to do on Mondays now?

Welcome back!

Good Lord, it has been forever, hasn't it?

Time for a positive review. Do yourself a favor and rent Overnight. It's absolutely wonderful. It's a documentary on this guy who was working as a bartender but wrote the script for The Boondock Saints and was in a band. The script got picked up by Miramax and his band was getting a record deal. Problem is, this guy is an A-1, world-class, record-breaking asshole. So, everything starts falling through and you get to see this arrogant douchebag get what's coming to him. Schadenfreude galore!

On to other things. I'm not sure I like Charlize Theron as Aeon Flux. She seems too soft and round for the part, at least in the face.

I've been celebrating the holidays Head-style with lots of drinking, eating, and fascinating monologues.


Update: Go visit Joshua for a post on that self-important cunt Paglia's latest turd.
Seriously, Kieth Richards has been her idol and role model for over 40 years? -sigh-
Sympathy for the Devil is "demonstably superior" to "Like a Rolling Stone" -sigh- (I like SFTD much more than LARS but "demonstrably superior"????)