Random thoughts

Ray Liotta and Christopher Walken should be in every movie.

Rip Torn should be in most of them.

NewsRadio is one of the best fucking shows ever (Before Phil Hartman died). Not sure why I linked that. You know what I'm talking about.

Diedrich Bader should win an Oscar for bit parts in awesome movies. Napolean Dynamite, Office Space, etc. Actually those were the only two I can think of but he was awesome in them.

I don't know if I've changed. I've always loved TV but not to this extent. There's about 6 or so shows that I say "I can't believe how good this show is." all the time. Some of them are: The Shield, The Venture Brothers, 24, Arrested Development, Carnivale, and The Sopranos. But there are others.

I kick a lotta ass at poker.

Tilt really sucks balls. Not suprising. I fucking hated Rounders too.

If you can help it, don't get into a barfight with anyone that has cauliflower ears.

You never ask a navy man if he'll have another drink, because it's nobody's goddamned business how much he's had already.

I had more but Jack made me forget. Trust me, it was all fakking gold.

You are all awesome. And don't you fucking forget it.

Make some dang quesa-dillas

Hi. So had a wonderful day. Took 2nd in poker last night, to the same dewd no less but winning cash is still nice. He bought drinks when we went out afterwards so that was cool. Woke up about 10:30 and made a nice breakfast. Then Lady Head and I watched Napolean Dynamite. Top notch entertainment. Then I had to go to work for a whole 1.5 hours. Then I came home, we had The Tac and we went and met with out new financial dewd, Jeff (formerly known as the Office Space Looking Guy). Gave him a check (we're now stockholders in Target) and we all were off to the greatest lounge in the world - Sperry's. If you don't remember, this is theplace where old rich ladies in real fur are pounding bourbon and sodas and eating rare meat. Best happy hour ever. 1/2 price martinis and wine (top shelf martinis are $3.80 - and they even have Boodles). Had a slew of martinis and the prime rib, which was fantastic. Now I'm home and will now continue drinking and watching TV. After all, the cat is still away until next week.
Head out!

What's up bone diddlies?

Jack Bauer is a fucking ninja.
OK, what's happening? First off I won back almost all of the pile of money I lost in December. Most of it in one drunken, hubris filled weekend. Yay, me. I finally finished flight school in GTA and am well into the Las Venturas missions.

Back to my perusal of random blogs. I am peeved that people keep talking about the "free exchange of ideas" that blogs enable but 99.44% of them are the blogger preaching to the converted. Anytime someone disagrees with the blogger they and their coterie blast them and threaten to block them, etc.. Now, I grant you, most people's disagreements are often assholey but it's not a crime to bring up the other side. Bible beaters, talk to the heathens, and vice versa.

Moving on, to spur debate, I find that people who don't drink coffee in the morning and instead drink coke or mountain dew to be vulgar. Grow up people. You're out of the dorms now. Now some of my best friends are these people but I still think this is wrong.

I'm actually in work today working on my sweet project. If it works out it'll look like I've been busting ass. Also, one of the people in charge of that program is very excited to talk to me about the program. Keep your fingers crossed b/c if I get this I'm on easy street. I'll know more this week.

I've learned that mixing cognac and port is kickass. Makes you super witty.

I also saw something on TV about that Metallica documentary. Man, did they turn into a bunch of pussies or what? It's about feelings, Lars. But they're currently under boycott until they unsissy-fy themselves. Seriously, if you're a rock star, and you go to rehab, and it takes, you should either leave the business entirely or make different types of music. Now that Hetfield is all sober they suck (actually they've been sucking for a while but my point still holds). Aerosmith should have been killed off a long time ago.

And not to beat a dead horse but "It's about the music." "It's about the music." "We're artists." "What? This thing is affecting our bottom line? Kill it." Guess what asshole, you're not an artist, you're an entertainer. I'm glad I stole all of their songs off of the net. Reminds me of that forum here about internet piracy (Chuck D was on it - awesome) and this shitty songwriter chick was whining that "I deserve to make a living the way I wants." Yeah right, gutterslut. I wonder if the people in the tallow industry whined this bad when the light bulb was invented. I hate people.

Tonight we are going to a birthday party at some bar. Should be a good time.

We have signed up for a wine class through our liquor store that runs the month of February. Every Tuesday, and it times up so we can get all liquored up and home in time for Dog: The Bounty Hunter.

That's it for now. Did anyone leave early yesterday? Well, I'm leaving early today so you should too.

Dumb as a bag of hammers

Wow. Since I can't actually do any work today I've been cruisin' 'round the 'net looking at random 'blogs.
And wow. There are some really dumb fucking people out there. I mean just straight up morons. I know most people are stupid but not this many most people. This many most people with internet access at least.
And they're all trying to be intelligent! Which makes it worse.
Now, I realize that, while I am a stone pimp in neuroscience and a few other subjects, I'm basically a dumbass in everything else. (You can probably tell that so why am I giving it time?) But these people are REALLY fucking dumb.
Can't debate to save their life. It's just spitting platitudes and soundbytes (ha ha, computer wordplay - maybe I'm actually brilliant?) that someone else thought of back and forth. I love when they cite stuff too. Naturally, they send you to the website that supports their ideas, no matter how insane. The internet is not peer-reviewed, people. Just because someone posted it does not make it true (except for my peeps list - their words are Law. That's why they're on my peeps list).
Just idiots elsewhere though.

And another point I thought of when I was reading about all the protests. Now, Bush sucks the big one, but I am annoyed by the signs that say "Not my president."
Aren't you missing the point of our democracy here? I guarantee if Kerry won (let's just let that thought hang for a second...sigh) and all the ig'nant 'necks were saying "Not my president" these same assholes out protesting now would be giving a social studies lecture to those 'necks with a fucking bullhorn. If you have a "Not my president" sign, bumper sticker, etc. you're pretty much an asshole. He is your president, and mine, no matter how much we didn't want it. Jerkoff.

OK, enough of that. Let's love each other. It's Friday and I needs to go get my drink on.

Poop.

So dinner was somewhat of a disappointment last night. Overall was good but they were crazy busy so service was spotty. And our waiter (who was a dead ringer for Neil Young) and another waiter recommended some subpar wines (weird since they supposedly have a kickass wine tasting every week).
High points were: they have the greatest ceasar salad EVAH! And I love Ceasar salads. It's one of these assemble-at-your-table jobbies. Totally old school with the anchovies, etc. Lady Head and I agree on it's wonderfulness. Desserts were fantastico. I almost nut in my pants over their chocolate pecan pie tort thingie. 3) The coffee was really good too so they gave me a bag of grounds.
The baked brie was so so but the peach chutney with it really improved it. My ribeye was huge and pretty good.

Then we went home and watched "The Village." Was OK, not as terrible as everyone said, but I definitely would of enjoyed it more if I hadn't read a fucking spoiler in a fucking review that gave away the twist!!!! Seriously, any movie critic who gives out a spoiler should be instantly sacked. Assholes.

I am nurturing that little spark of motivation from earlier in the week. It's actually a little flame now. I actually had a pretty good idea for a study while I was lifting this a.m. I think I can get it done completely next week.

Well, the tech is back trying to save all of my data from my computer so I'll probably read all day. For you fellow nerds out there, I just picked up Striedter's "Principles of Brain Evolution" and it's pretty good so far. He seems pretty sharp (he love my stuff at SFN so obviously he knows his shit) and explains well.

OK, tonight we will be having a Head Party (Me, Lady Head, and assorted critters) and screening "Five Fingers of Death."

Hot Rod, you need to post soon. Don't be intimidated, your post doesn't need to be as witty, sensible, and internally consistent as every single one of mine are.

Yay food! Boo computers!

Why is she Lady Head you ask? Because she's awesome.
So I have really poor financial skills. As in I like spending money. So Lady Head is the financial brains behind Team Head. But, because of her anti-dime day stance (http://seeallknowall.blogspot.com/2005/01/every-damn-dime-ive-got-day.html - I'd link it shorter but for some reason this mac won't let me) she's opening the pursestrings so we can tear it up old style Head. Tonight we are going to Nick and Rudy's for a bit of the good life.

Speaking on Dime Day, is gambling considered taboo? Transfer of wealth and all that. Took 2nd last night in my live game. Finished after midnight so I ogt an early start counterprotesting.

I should put in a disclaimer: we don't like Bush and all that, but "Not One Damn Dime Day" is super-retarded and that's why we're protesting it.

This weekend we are having the Owls over for rabbit stew and ostrich something. I can't remember the name, we got a bunch of shit from D'Artagnan and are psyched to cook it up.

So why am I on a mac you say? Because my computer is FUUUUUUCKED. Technician coming over to help me. Seriously, if I lose these files I'm gonna wreck up this place. Moving on.

Getting back to us being bon vivants we are going to try and go to "Cocktails in the Country" this year. It's that guy Gary Regan and his wife's two day seminar on cocktails. If anyone wants to do this with us that'd be awesome (I'm looking at you Evil Doctor and Deano). It's a pretty sweet deal. They pick you up in a limo on Sat morning in Manhattan, drive you to somewhere north of the city. Then it's just seminars and eating and drinking. Return Sunday. Lodging, food, and some drinks all for $150 (the liquor companies subsidize it). Details can be found at www.ardentspirits.com
These people are gods of cocktails. This weekend I'm planning to try this dessert cocktail they invented to go with chocolate torts: cognac, ruby port, and gingerbread syrup. I can't figure out why I'd want to try this but what the hell?

Urge to kill - rising

I swear to God, one day I'm gonna burn this place down.

This guy's totally right

http://www.lewbryson.com/buzz0904.htm
I love people who take the art of drinking seriously.

Someday I will have drinks with Gary Regan. Also, if anyone's feeling like they need to buy me a present I'll take any of the Regan's books.

I agree 1000% with Lew. I have a bet with BR that he can't tell the difference between a Bloody Mary made with Grey Goose and one made with Popov or the ilk.
ED and I did attempt to distinguish different vodka's nose and flavor, to no avail (but we got hella drunk).
It's fucking vodka people. The difference between good and bad ones are texture, smoothness, etc - NOT flavor. So, if your mixing, the well vodka is fine.

Jerks.

Oh yeah.

Congratulations to Mariska Hartigay for winning a Golden Globe for her performance in Law and Order: SVU. I can't believe she's gonna be 41 next week. And thank God for those tight sweaters. I didn't watch it but heard a big deal being made on the news about her nipples.

Props to Ian McShane (Deadwood) for his Globe. He definitely deserves an Oscar, even though he's on the TeeVee.

Reminds me, in the spirit of getting you all boned up on Head Trivia, here are the actors I'd be into if I were gay (man-crushes).
1. Christopher Meloni (SVU)
2. Mark Valley (Keen Eddie)
3. Timothy Olyphant (Deadwood)

Kill those little fuckers

The Head is conflicted.

Nicholas Kristof had a column last week in the NYT saying they should bring back DDT in Indonesia. I think I agree. Screw Rachel Carson. A lot of smart people think that DDT isn't bad. Considering how many people die due to malaria, dengue fever, etc. every year I think it's time to look at this shit. Even Nader, Greenpeace, and the WWF support limited spraying (from the Kristof article - it's from Jan 8. I'm not linking it b/c it's on their pay-to-read list now).

It's tough since my undergrad bio profs were crazed environmentalists and I've definitely been influenced by them. However, a lot of the studies supporting the DDT ban (especially the mouse liver ones and raptor eggshell ones) are full of conjecture. I'm hesitant to cast my vote (since I'm a big time policy maker).

Not sure what to think. All pesticides = bad right? Someone smart weigh in. I love raptors.

Also tonight, the Jack Johnson documentary is on PBS. It was on last night too I think. I hope it's not 2 parts and I missed the first. I love the fact when you're reading about the fights "The fight was set for 45 rounds ." I'm assuming this is the knockdown-rule round and not the time-period rounds but it's still fucked. Does anyone know for sure?

Lastly, why the fuck is Robert DeNiro doing AmEx commercials. Granted he hasn't made a good movie in a long time but WTF?

Soon as I stepped on the scene I'm hearin' hoochies screamin'

Hello turds.

So I woke up early today and ran. Scary. I actually feel more awake.
Hooked on 24. What a good show. I can't figure out why I like shows where the main characters are under crazy stress (e.g. The Shield). You know Jack's gonna go in there all ninja-style next week.

Had that new calvados last night. Pretty good. Although calvados actually worries me because it's one of the few drinks that actually has acetaldehydes already in it (the alcohol metabolites that gives you, or contributes to, the hangover). So, to me, calvados is the ecstasy or meth of alcoholic beverages. But I like it, and I'm naturally resistant to hangovers.

Work-wise, the lab is about to mutiny due to changes being made that would put a shitload of unnecessary work on some of the grad students (I don't think it affects me at all). Should be an interesting couple of days.

Lady Head is finally gonna get me a chocolate factory from the teevee commercial.

Beyond that, it's figure day. Working on illustrator all day. So you killas may get more posts.

But whenever monday comes, but whenever monday comes; You can find me cryin’ all of the time

Slow weekend. Ended up working late on Friday, after I told you all I was leaving. Grant shit came up and they decided to do the mold thing tomorrow. I'm such a liar. But not intentionally.
Lady Head and I mostly laid around the house and watched TV. I also played a goodly amount of GTA. Flight school sucks.
Was thinking about when I watched "Resident Evil" the other day. I don't know why everyone seems to be using fast cut editing for fight scenes these days. I fucking hate it. It's when they keep jerking the POV around a bunch of different angles in the middle of punches, etc. Choppy. Really hate it.
Everyone go to adultswim.com and tell them to greenlight more episodes of "The Venture Brothers." Maybe tell them to lose TGTTM as well. Really ruins my Adult Swim Sundays.
Saw "The Life Aquatic" last night. Enjoyed it. I love Bill Murray.
Oh, after lunch one day Lady Head bet me I couldn't eat 3 hot dogs. She's feeling shame. I ate 4 and think, empty stomached, I could do 6 or 8. Also, supposedly it's impossible to drink a gallon of milk in one sitting. I believe it, but I wonder how much I could get down. Any idea? I'm guessing between 1/2 and 2/3 of a gallon. Details to follow.
Was motivated until I got into work today. La la la. One of those days.

Legend of John Henry's Hammer

I want to work, I really do. Honest day's work for an honest day's pay and all that. But the lab next door flooded the place last week and today they're gonna tear out the walls to remove this killer mold. So, even though I work like a protestant bee serf, I guess I'm forced to go fuck off for the remainder of the day.
Damn. What ever shall I do?

NOT ONE DAMN WHOPPER DAY

Those (see an August post for the original boycott - I can't figure out how to link the old ones) fucking Burger King commercials enrage me. And now they've added Omarosa so, to protest BK and the ad agency that came up with those shitty office commercials (Crispin Porter + Bogusky if you want to write them a letter) I am declaring January 30 "Not One Damn Whopper Day." No Burger King from midnight to midnight. It will be tough, but we must stand together against the bullying, Omarosa, and general wrongheadedness of these commercials.
We will be heard!

Hey tubby...

Maybe if you walked up that one flight of stairs instead of taking the elevator your ass wouldn't be so fat.

Also, BK boycott has now expanded to a vigorous one man letter writing campaign. Not only did they bring back those horrible office bullying commercials but now they have Omarosa (sp?) in them. Now I don't watch The Apprentice but hate people who think them being an asshole is a virtue. You know the type. They're not really assholes, just "assertive", full of "strong character", "aren't a doormat", etc.
Nope, you're an asshole. Berating the waiter, postman, poor schlub on the phone, underlings, etc. And they're fucking proud of it! I know people who come up to me and tell me how they told off so-and-so and sit there with a smirk waiting for me to compliment them on not taking shit from nobody. While the whole time I'm thinking that they're really terrible people. Christ people, what happen to being polite? Courtesy? etc.
Just try not to be an asshole.
I just realized how I started this post by calling someone a fatass. That's different. It just is.

Beyond that, I'm back at work. Rolled in at noon. I'm awesome.

It's not just the UIC Psych department

Found this via Toungue Tied.
I should be the Secretary of Education.

Also, this is the best, out of 1200 Americans polled 43% thought normal tomatoes didn't have genes while genetically modified tomoatoes did. (Screw you Europe, 64% thought this).
Article here, survey here.

People are stupid, frankenfood is yummy!

Wasting away again in pyrogenville

Thanks Turbo for posting.
Well, Lady Head's fever topped out at 101.6.
I still feel kinda crappy but went into work today at 11. A 11:10 my boss actually sent me home because he's paranoid about catching it. I guess this resolution of working harder at work is already paying dividends.
Last night was a television bonanza. First a doubleshot of Dog: The Bounty Hunter. Then Ceasar's Palace: 24/7. They basically show all this shit in the casino. Degenerate high rollers, wannabe high rollers, dildos hitting on chicks, catfights, etc. The catfight was pretty good. These two tranny-looking chicks (I mean heinous skanks) go to Vegas for one day b/c one of the skanks just broke up with her boyfriend of 6 years. After crying and drinking they head down to the bar to meet some playas. Of course these complete fuckheads come up top them (one guy had a skintight tank top and a newsboy/ivy hat cocked sideways, the other was a fat guy) and start hitting on them. They then go to the craps table (yay craps!) and get those digits of the ladies to call them to hook up later. As soon as the fuckheads walk away they see the one guy start making out with this other chick. Long story short, it's his girlfriend, they try to tell her what he was doing, and catfight!
Another good sequence is these 4 cheesedicks hitting on girls by the pool. These guys were deluded. Two were these sleazytypes and the other two were little weenies. They used the word "game" too much, as in "throwing our game", "we got mad game", "our game is tight", etc. SO they start hitting on these ladies by the pool (who weren't very classy themselves - "We come to Vegas with $100 and try not to spend a dime of it") and were getting "CB-ed" (as in cockblocked) by this old guy sitting next to them. The little weenies said, in narration, "This guy doesn't know who he's messin with. Our crew's game has been fire tested. You gotta show game to roll with us." or something very similar. Long story short, the girls gave them the wrong room number.
The best was these two white guys who sold everything they had to get money for the one guy's rap album. They spent everything on plane tickets to Vegas. Here's their business plan: stand in font of Ceasar's, rap for donations (panhandle) take the money inside to the blackjack table, win enough to make the album.
First off this guy freestyles which, if there's one thing I've learned from teaching at the city college in the south loop, is freestyle always sucks. Also, his raps sounded like the raps they have on kid's cartoons.
So he makes $63. Step one complete. Step 2 - blackjack. Long story short, the dealer feels bad about wiping him out (I wouldn't considering he was doing mini-raps the whole time he was at the table) and sends him to the side lounge where the jazz pianist's kid is an "up and coming hip-hop producer"), he gets to freestyle one rap with the band (all the old people in the lounge are clapping along) and he starts going on about "playing Ceasar's Palace."

Then was the apex of the night. Porn Star: The Legend of Ron Jeremy. Christ, I don't know where to begin. The guy who's proud his porn star wife is gonna get it in the ass by Ron, the new porn stars who look down on Ron (fuck you Semour Butts, he's fucking RON JEREMY), or the porn stars who love him. There's too much to tell. Rent this immediately. Or it's also on InDemand PPV but it may have ended it's run yesterday.

So off to bed with my trusty gatorade (Fierce Grape - the best) and the recent netflix arrival Bullet (no not Bullit - although that's a sweet movie too). The Mickey Rourke/ Tupac vehicle. Although Ted Levine steals the show as Louis. Now there's an underrated actor. "It puts the fucking lotion in the basket!"

Blah

Still sick...
So's Lady Head.

Someone from Team Head post please.

Muthafucker

God damn. This is obviously some kind of CIA superpathogen. I mean, I'm pretty much indestructible yet I am sick as a dog. Why are they targeting me? What secrets do I know? Am I some kind of military experiment gone horribly right and now they're trying to destroy me? Am I a bomb like Gary Sinise in that shitty movie?
Fuck this shit yo.
Head down.

It's so dark in here. I'm cold, so cold.

Blech. Home sick today. Really feel like ass. Couldn't sleep last night. Stayed up all night. Watched Guns of Navarone, Plattoon, and Holes.
Too sick to even blog. GTA time.
Happy thoughts for the Head please.

Faux hangover

So, I didn't drink that much last night and it feels like I went out on a tear. I didn't even smoke any cigarettes and I feel like ass.
I'm blaming the cheese. Specifically the limburger.
Now I understand why Bugs Bunny cartoons always made fun of it. Now, I'm a culinary sophisticate for the most part and I like stinky cheese. But this is truly foul. Don't ever go near it. It's like a cross between nutrient agar, really stinky socks, and fermunda cheese.
Moving on, I'm going to spend the rest of the day in bed playing GTA. Hopefull I'll get better since Lady Head picked up some filet mignon and fish for a little surf and turf later. I must convalesce!

The future is coming on, is coming on, is coming on

Doing great today! Thanks for asking!
Went out to some new oyster bar for happy hour with The Owl and company. It's great. It's right between my building and the parking garage. Now that walk is much less taxing.
Then I came home and Lady Head and I watched "The Stepford Wives." Was better than everyone said. Entertained us but that could have been due to our pharmacolocigally enhanced moods.
Then this morning we had a fabulous breakfast of corned beef hash and eggs and took Nacho to the pet store.
I'm enthusiastic about my job on several fronts: 1) Raise and office, 2) Exciting grant that is likely to get funded, and 3) that anatomy fellowship. Also, The Owl informed me that I should tell Lady Head that, now that he's my boss, I will be required to work later hours (read: go to happy hours).
Winning at poker today. Good b.m.'s. Good workouts this week. Tonight I have a cheese party to go to (not as in lame as in dairy). They're also serving brandy alexanders and other old school cocktails.
The world is my oyster.

Another caveat about the smart people thing. If you are arguing about a subject and said subject is the other person's vocation, usually they have the right to invoke their job in the discussion and most of the time you should defer. This is mostly when there's a "right" or mostly right answer. For example, if I'm arguing finance (terrible example since I know nothing about money) and the guy I'm talking to says he's an investment banker I probably should defer to him. If we are arguing neuroscience, he should probably defer to me.
There are a lot of exceptions, especially for opinion arguments. For example, if we are arguing books and the guy (or gal - I'm not trying to be sexist here, just saving space although I guess just adding the gal to the earlier example is probably 50 characters or so cheaper than this explanation) says he's an english major, writer, critic, etc. then his vocation has less to do with it. Same with music or movies. Vocation can't trump taste.

I am uber-pumped for a new season of The Shield in March. Best show on television.

Also, I've got a big chubby for the remake of Kojak. Ving Rhames can do it. I can feel a winner.

The new season of Carnivale begins tomorrow. Maybe now I'll find out what's going on.

New season of 24 also tomorrow.

Notice the new addition of Randall form Waxing Pathetic on the sidebar. Wonderful blog (and a hit with the ladies too). Props to Bella for showing me the way.

Also notice the removal of Kid Awesome (nee St. Jude). WTF brah?

Ted Kennedy is a big fat dildo

Via Tightly Wound I found this on Fatty McBigheadeddrunkenhypocriticalassholefuckface's questioning of Gonzalez. Now Gonzalez is an asshole too but GOD DAMN do I hate Teddy.

Hooker with a heart of gold

Prostitute vengeance.

And another gem from CNN.

superstar, smokin' on a cigar; litle homies know who the O.G.s are

There appears to be some confusion about my smart people bashing. Maybe "smart people" should have been in quotes. I would never try and stop debate. I've spent many a night arguing on the Ash-hole's back porch, the Bob Inn, Sullivan's, etc. And I am a firm believer that if someone says something stupid they should be corrected. And be told why they're wrong. My problem is with the "resume smart" people. The people who think that where they went to school, the degrees they have, what they do, their test/IQ scores, the class they took, the book they read etc. makes them right without any debate. Their word is gospel and you half-bright morons should take it as such. Those are the people I hate.

Moving on, I watched The Third Man last night and was enraged. One of the DVD extras they give is an interview with Peter Bogdanovich about the movie. I fucking hate Peter Bogdanovich. There's several documentary-type shows (especially Easy Riders, Raging Bulls ) that talk about directors in the 70's and how they saved hollywood, were these visionary geniuses, etc. and fucking Peter Bogdanovich is in every one talking all high and mighty about cinema and such. And a lot of the movies and directors they're talking about suck (Roger Corman and The Wild Angels). They're taking these crap, cheap B movies and talking about them like they're the greatest thing ever. Revolutionary work fellas.
Now I know what your thinking: Head, you love shitty movies. You're right, I do. But these guys are total jerkoffs. So basically, instead of huge budget bombs you manage to make a bunch of shitty movies that make money for the studio and all of a sudden you're Fritz Lang? That's what most of the movies today are, shitty but they make money.
You guys are assholes.
I hate Peter Fonda too.
I anticipate a spirited response from the ED.

Charlie, I'm pregnant. Living on 9th street. Right above a dirty bookstore.

Grant rehashing all friggin day. That means computer and iPod all day. So instead of getting responses from me 2 minutes later, people emailing me get them about 18 picoseconds after they send them. Funny thing is my boss thinks I'm a fakking pimp. He seems to forget that I'm much more of a pimp than even he thinks so it takes me about 1/10 the time it takes other people to track down info (cuz I already fucking know it!) so I have downtime yet appear to be busting ass.
Beats working I guess.

Note the addition of The Hun on the Peeps list. Go check her out.

Kid Awesome and Talula, Friday you get the big ugly axe if you don't post. And the rest of you are pissing me off too. What, did all of you suddenly sprout lives for the new year? C'mon people. I know you assholes are at work. What are you doing - working? Like a sucker.

And Turbo and Hot Rod. Why don't you two each start a blog. I knows you gots words to spreads out in the world. I've sat next to you guys at bars many a night listening to you ramble. Get on it.
Is Fat Nick still alive?

Fuck Martinez, fuck, fuck Martinez.

It's a celebration, bitches

Yay!
Congratulations to Baby on Board (you should really change your name now since you had li'l Noah) for filing to divorce that piece of shit husband of hers.
She's on the market now, fellas. You can't do better.
2005 is your year B.O.B.!

So forget Oreos, eat Cool J cookies.

Ladies Love Cool James has to at least tie the Beastie Boys in the nonsensical lyrics category.

Welcome to this wonderful day in the Headosphere!
The Owl's funding finally kicked in so not only do I get a raise and a shiny new office but I am losing oversight.
See, this is pretty much a faux new job that doesn't really change my job very much. I'm still working on basically the same projects for the same guy. My money just comes from elsewhere. The thing is, I have to make sure I'm over in the other building sometimes so the admin doesn't catch on that it's a faux appointment. So, a slave with two masters is a free man. Am I here? Am I over there? No one knows!!!! Maybe I'm home playing GTA. BWA HA HA HA!
And career-wise it's great because not only did I get a promotion, but now am "working for" one of the elder statesmen in the field. Also, I actually may backdoor my way into some projects over there.

I'm teaching a lot this semester and am going to try to get in this new program for researchers/ med school educators. See, since the molecular revolution, there has been a huge decline in young scientists being produced that are qualified to teach shit like medical neuroanatomy, gross anatomy (it's all fucking gross - ba dump bump crash), and the like. So this new program they're starting is 3 years of funding. You do research for 3/4 of the year and in the fall, you have protected time to teach. It's sweet, the first year you actually take one of the classes (I guess that will be 23rd grade for me). Sweet, a whole semester where my only responsibility is taking one friggin' class. The next year you start teaching. And the 3rd year you have your own class. Not only will that guarantee me funding for my grooundbreaking research but it will increase my marketability a shitload for faculty positions.

We also have a big exciting grant we're sending in that I'm actually excited about. I just got brought into it. I basically just have to read some shit for a couple of days to catch up. Starbuck's here I come. I'm such a pimp.
If neuroscience was a chick I'd fuck it.

Elsewhere, I'm regretting ever showing Lady Head how to use NetFlix. Now she has all of these horrible movies in the queue. We are beginning to have queue wars. She puts hers on the top, I change it, she changes it back, etc.

Also, I'm annoyed by the aging drug culture. Now up to maybe your mid-twenties you're supposed to do a shitload of drugs. That's great. But past the mid twenties you should really tone it down to only booze, weed, and prescription painkillers/anxiolytics.
I have this friend, Ratboy. Great guy, but everytime I talk to him he's all like "Ugh, I rolled last night and feel like shit today" or the like. He's 30. With a job. Seriously buddy, you're thirty. And this was the guy we used to call "Buzzkill." Basically he'd start the paranoid introspective shit (that normally happens at 5am) about 5 minutes after we started doing whatever we're doing. So I can't believe he's still going.
Also, somewhat related, is this fact: Just because you use drugs does not mean you know anything about how they work. Lady Head used to teach a psychopharmacology class for nonmajors and is intimately familiar with this concept (as in people in her class don't subscribe to it). I'm so sick of the half-educated spiels people put forth. Prime example of how a little education is a bad thing.

Oh, and if you've ever went to the hospital for a drug related reason it immediately becomes the most severe case the doctors have ever seen. Wow, you should be written up in JAMA.

Like Mike Schank in American Movie. He tells this story about how he went to the hospital for an LSD overdose and he almost died and the doctors said if he didn't have the "downers" mixed in with the tabs he would have. Of course this was the worst case ever seen.
It's fucking acid! You can't overdose on it. Well I guess theoretically you can (with 300 times the effective dose), but you can overdose on anything.
"Dude, did you hear about the guy who tripped for the first time and he's in an asylum and he thinks he can't lay down because he thinks he's a glass of orange juice?"

It's like the alcoholic thing. I always see people in my age group or younger that's all "I'm an alcoholic." Hey peckerwood, you don't know what alcoholism is. Walk into my grandfather's bar at 11am on a Tuesday. That's fucking alcoholism. So here's the Head Test for Alcoholism.
If you've lost two out of these 5 things to drinking: job, marriage, teeth, limb, organ; you're probably an alcoholic.
If you haven't, I'm not saying you don't have a drinking problem. I do know people my age that are alcoholics, but just because you drink more than your coworkers does not mean you're a sot. Or maybe you're a fuckup to begin with and the hooch is a symptom.
"I was having 3-4 glasses of wine each night 4-5 nights a week. I was spiralling out of control. I'm an alcoholic." Real Simple and the like always have these stories. You read them and are all "Are you fucking kidding me?"

OK. Worky time. Off to the great known!

I don't like your jerk off name, I don't like your jerk off face, I don't like your jerk off behavior, and I don't like you, jerk off

Gah!
I hate smart people. When did intellect become the new bullying stick? What happened to how much you bench, or how much money you make, or how much hot ass you tapped (of course I could just be angry since I bench a ton, am fabulously rich, and Lady Head is a fox)? Has it always been the case that pencil-necked geeks have to shove their nerdly knowledge into everyone's face?
Who cares if someone doesn't know math, or didn't get a 4.0 at Hahvahd, or didn't read whatever pompous asshole book you did?
I don't know who's worse, the GPA-Test Score-University-flag-wavers or the too-smart-for-college, self-educated hipsters. Both are assholes.
Just. Pretentious. Assholes.
Every fucking party, TV show, mass email exchange, message board, etc. is just full of smart people being assholes.
And for Christ's sake, NPR sucks ass, I don't care if you listen to it all day - you little dweeb.
You're not even right about 1/2 the shit you spout on about. Do you realize how big of a tool you look like/are? Maybe these people are compensating for being shit on in their adolescence, but Jesus man, give it a fucking rest. You look like a complete dildo. Just try and enjoy yourself without trying to tear down others. Maybe watch a movie that doesn't have subtitles (no offense ED, I consider you a dummy - Cheers).
The buff, good looking, dumb guy is still gonna go home with that hot girl and have dirty sexicourse. Not because of any society-based anti-intellectualism but because you're a douchebag, and douchebagginess is not related to your scores on the GRE.
I'm gonna give you a swirlie.

Jon Stewart for President

So I'm watching The Daily Show last night and laughing my ass off. We also got America: The Book. Jon Stewart is awesome.
But here's what I started thinking. Is he the next Dennis Miller? Remember when Dennis Miller was the cool, funny, intellectual comedian? And now he's a fucked-up, weirdo has-been doing NetZero commercials.
Now Jon Stewart is bigger than Miller ever was and I'm sure he'll still die awesome in the eyes of everyone but there's still that thought.
Stewart 2008!

La la la

Another day at work. La la la. Actually did a little work yesterday. That fucking paper may go out yet.
Went home and Lady Head busted out some baked tilapia. The Heads are losing weight for the new year. Because, let's be honest, the Head's natural state is rocked up killing machine. You'll fucking see.
Moving on, I'm noticing more and more ladies (Lady Head included) doing the thumb-through-the-sleeves thing Kurt Cobain-style (still glad he's dead). Is this new, or haven't I been noticing it?
Also, Kid Awesome, if you don't post something by tomorrow I'm gonna axe you from my peeps list. And then fly to Cleveland and beat you down.
Talula, you're on the cusp too. Of the peeps list axing, not the beat down.
C'mon people, get with it!

King Dong

Fucking A. As if screwing up the last LOTR movie wasn't enough, that fatbody Peter Jackson (I did love the first two LOTR and Dead Alive though) is remaking King Kong. What an egotistical ass.

Which reminds me. If there's one actor out there who's as good as Kurt Russell it's Ray Liotta. He should have gotten the Oscar for his King Kong rant in Phoenix. ("What do they do? They put in a big fucking door!")

Speaking of, Phoenix is a sweet movie. Go rent it.

Plus it has the best (and the fattest) Baldwin brother and Anthony LaPaglia. Now, granted, they're pretty shitty actors, but they fit these roles perfectly.

Discuss.

Zombie fevah!

Via Tightly Wound here's a long paper full of verbal masturbation about Dawn of the Dead. WTF?
I hate academics.

Happy fakking new year!

Hi everyone! The Head is back. Kid Awesome is going to the airport in a couple of hours and my holidays will officially be over.
Pretty much exausted. Brain fuzzy. Muscles atrophied. Fat more plentiful. Organs hurt.
Not too healthy. Possibility of mental an physical collapse increasing.
I need a vacation.
Fuck it.

First one here was the evil twin on the 20th (?). As always a rough houseguest. Everyday woke up at 6am and made coffee. Would't be worth mentioning if A) our coffemaker wasn't one of those grindy ones that wakes up the whole house, and B) if he didn't drink the last bean of coffee in the whole house before anyone else woke up and I had to go to the fucking store for coffee all hungover after an ice storm (I learned TN does have these - the rest of the time it was quite pleasant). Also he smoked all of the cheeba. Also he basically only drinks red wine (he's a francophile and considers that the only worthwhile drink). Which again would be fine if he didn't wipe out my winerack, including the out-of-my-pricerange wine I bought for Xmas dinner. He did this in the morning too. A lot of other annoyances like combining meat and potatoes in tupperware and we say - "You can't do that, SEDA is a vegetarian", he says "It's no big deal" and continues doing that, etc. etc. Oh, and the setting shit on fire.
Next, and overlapping, were the Ash-holes. Wonderful houseguests and people. We rocked the mic that rocks the party, showed them how it's done, kicked ass and took names, took care of bidness, stuck it to the man, and partied like it's 1999.
I've learned that the Ash-hole is more "all that is man" than I am (see previous posts and his blog).
They left and Kid Awesome came in. First off I had to write these recommendation letters for him for grad school. Then we got tore up and watched awful movies.
Actually, the whole 2 weeks had its fair share of terrible movies. King Arthur - even worse than I expected, Collateral - really bad, and it wasn't just the bad acting: lots of lazy writing in that one - deus ex machinas galore! I can't remember all of the rest right now.
Two nice suprises were American Movie and Eurotrip. American Movie is about this white trash wannabe filmaker from WI trying to make his dream film. Just wonderful. And don't get confused, not wonderful in the wow-he's-a-genius way, but awesome in the holy-shit-is-this-guy-fucked-up-and-wow-so-is-that-guy-and wow-her-too-etc.-trainwreck-kind-of-way. And I actually laughed my ass off at Eurotrip. A pleasant suprise since we were in that hungover-can't-figure-out-what-to-do-should-we-watch-a-movie-or-play-video-games-or-go-out-but-football's-on-and-maybe-we-should-play-cards-but-we-don't-feel-like-doing-anything-but-we're-so-bored mood and that movie saved us.
New Year's Eve party was good. After midnight most of the people left and Kid Awesome, Jeff and Kristen, and The Heads stayed up smoking and watched 100 scariest horror moments or whatever it's called.
Last night Kid Awesome and I went out to the Goldrush and then came home and watched movies. We did decide that The Da Vinci Code was a rip off of Hudson Hawk.
Today was brunch at Jackson's. Mimosas do the Head well.
Out!