Benedict XVI

I guess I'll briefly comment on the new pope.
We're screwed for the next couple years. Ratzinger is old-school. Imagine the nuns who taught you in school. The "masturbating is a sin" type. Yep. That 's him.
I'm pretty bummed about it, all-in-all. This was a chance for the church to really move into the modern world. Instead we're moving back.
But, and hopefully this doesn't sound too terrible, he's 78 and not in the best health. 4-5 years I would guess. And then perhaps they'll be a rebound to a more liberal pope. Plus, a lot of the cardinals who voted now will be over 80 in 5 years.
Who knows?

So tired.

Well, as you can see we got Orson yesterday. He's friggin' awesome.

Snuggling. 

Exploring. 

Cocktails in the Country

Many thanks to the Evil Doctor (again) for posting in my absence. And the rest of you can eat a bag of dicks. You're on the contributors list because you're supposed to contribute. Assholes.
Now to the weekend. Friggin' wicked awesome.
For those of you that are new, or only visit occasionally, or have shitty memories, Lady Head and I went to Gary Regan's Cockails in the Country this weekend.
First off, Gary is so the fucking man. For those of you that don't know, he's one of the preeminent cocktailians of our time. To me, he's one of less than a 1/2 dozen or so authorities on the making and history or drinks. I highly recommend The Joy of Mixology to all and The Book of Bourbon to any bourbon enthusiasts out there. In addition, he's pretty awesome in general. Smart, laid back, funny, and a great storyteller.
Those of you that are familiar with Gary may not recognize him because of the lack of his signature beard. He had tongue cancer and chemo made it so he can't grow it anymore. (they replaced 1/2 his tongue with part of his arm - you couldn't tell by his speech though so good job surgeons!).
OK, we got in on Friday afternoon. Gary picked us up, took us on a quick tour of the town (Cornwall-on-Hudson). Then we checked into our room at Painter's Inn. Lady Head and I had dinner and drinks and went to bed early. The next morning we had breakfast and read until 11:30 when the limo got in from Manhattan with the rest of the class. Then we had lunch. Then we walked into the bar while "Have a Drink on Me" by Lonnie Donegan was playing. This would become our anthem since it always began a class. While this song was playing, Gary was making drinks. He gave one to each of us and class began. The first session was the ardent basics. A lot of what was expected from a bartender, history of the craft, how to handle different situations, basic bartending (how to stir, skake, muddle, roll, flame, garnish, etc., etc., etc.), tasting different ingredients, and the like. This session we tasted a lot of bitters, vermouths, whiskeys, etc. Then we had a break for 2 hours and came back down for a 4 course dinner with paired cocktails. Then Gary made us all nightcaps. Normally we would have kept drinking but these were classic cocktails that fuck you up right quick. We started with a martini, circa 1900. Interesting. It was 1:1 gin (Tanqeray 10 in this case), dry vermouth, and orange bitters with a lemon twist. I didn't think I'd like it since I drink my martinis medium dry but it was excellent. Even Lady Head liked it and she'd not a big gin fan. We also had sidecars and a cosmo that definitely didn't taste like your typical TGIFriday's affair. Two things I took away from this trip is to know your ingredients and always use the best. For example, you don't use sour mix or the ilk in anything, you use fresh lime juice and simple syrup. You don't use shitty triple sec, you use Cointreau. Of course in some shitty drinks it doesn't matter but in a carefully crafted cocktail it makes a world's of difference. Drinks I never like were suddenly good.
So the next morning we had breakfast at 8 and the second session started at 9am. We walked into the bar with our song playing and Gary making us all drinks (!). More tasting of liquors (rums, tequilas, vodkas, etc.) and learning more drinks. Then after 3 or 4 hours of this we broke for lunch. Then our last session was Gary giving us ingredients that we had to taste and figure out how to make a tasty drink from them. We each made 2-3 drinks. Then he cut us loose behind the bar for an hour where we could make and drink whatever we want. Awesome.
Lady Head has discovered an affinity for margaritas, mojitos, and mint juleps. She never liked them before but now she knows how to make them a certain way and loves them.
We also got kick-ass swag. Our goodie bags contained a bartending kit (shakers, barspoons, strainers, a muddler, etc.), a few shirts and hats, and a shitload of booze (Lady Head and I each got 9 airplane bottles, 3 or 4 half bottles, and 2 full bottles).
We stayed and extra night and now we're back armed for fucking you up classically.
All in all, everything except our first and last meals was covered. That means the other meals, the booze, the room on Saturday, and transport to and from Manhattan. For $150/person. (It's sponsored by the liquor companies.)
You'd be stupid not to do this. It was awesome.

Puppy comes today.

Edit: Found another story of the course here.

Gary the arsonist and Joe from Boston.

Ten High

So tired. Played cards last night. Didn't get to bed until like 2:30. Which wouldn't be a problem but I had to get up before 7 to go lift. Blech.
Tonight, oh tonight, Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter should be getting here from Netflix. St. Jude recommended this movie. I love the tagline "The Power of Christ Impales you!"
So, that's the plan for later.
Then we leave for Cocktails in the Country tomorrow at some ungodly hour. We're flying right into Stewart for a couple extra days there. It's gonna kick serious ass. Can you jerks please guest post while I'm gone? I should be functional by Tuesday.
Speaking of kicking ass, this morning when I dragged myself out of bed (see above), I actually thought "I could use a drink right now." And I specifically wanted a Macallan Cask Strength. Kind of awesome. But I resisted since I have actually been working at lab.
All in all, I'm feeling pretty good about everything right now.
Pretty lame post. Maybe I'll find something later to enrage me.

Blo-jak

Alright, Kojak is very disappointing. Ving Rhames spends way too much time "talking people down" and being all smooth with the ladies and not nearly enough time throwing people through walls. Seriously, have you seen Ving Rhames? He's fucking huge. Watching this show is like watching The Incredible Hulk play chess. C'mon, smash the board already. Let's get back to our roots Ving.

Deadwood does not disappoint however. I love Charlie Utter. He could be one of my favorites on this show. He's all "How do I look in this frock coat?" bumbling around, but you just know he's a total badass. Next week I think we'll get to see that.

I didn’t know the actress playing Jewel (Geri Jewell) actually has cerebral palsy.

For the Chicago folks, you all should go to this. I'd be joining you, but Lady Head and I will be going to Gary Regan's Cocktails in the Country. I'll come up for next year's.

Lady Head's garage sale went swimmingly. If swimmingly is 4 ladies getting trashed while haggling.

24 night tonight. I think the show's getting to be a little too much. How many fucking consecutive plots are there? And even with terrible intelligence, etc. this shit ain't gonna happen. That guy took that stealth fighter. No one recognized him on the base, he killed 2 people on base, and they still let him take it?
And the soap opera shit has got to go. I mean the world is about to explode in 30 minutes, our man Jack (ninja) fucking stabs himself to improve his cover and the other people are all like "I'm your boss." "No, I'm your boss."; "When did you sleep with him?" "It's none of your business."; "I want more pay."
24, get back to your roots.

Also watched Exorcist: The Beginning this weekend. Wasn't as awful as everyone said. However, when the natives were attacking the British position there were like 50 natives charging about 20 or more soldiers with rifles and a huge friggin' machine gun. They still overtook the position. Now, I'm not a military tactician or anything but I've seen Zulu. That shit ain't gonna happen.

That night at about 4am there were fire trucks and ambulances outside our neighbor's. Their toddler had a seizure. Nothing permanent, they think it's just fever-related.
I was thinking how fucking scary that would be if we had a kid and that happened to us at 4am after watching The Exorcist. Hemingway said something about how no matter how tough the guy is he's a scared little boy at 3am. Does anyone know this quote? I'll think you're really smart if you can find it b/c I can't.

Also, very excited about Warm Springs. Love Kenneth Branaugh.

Friday Night Lights

I was reflecting about H.S. football the other day. Not the "I was a star" type, but how shitty it was. There's some kind of black magic that they use to summon assistant HS football coaches. They need the right blend of insecurity, sadism, and deluded nostalgia.
Then The Perfect Brother sent me this about a parent (Robertson) shooting the head football coach.
Best part of the article:

Miller said she didn’t want Robertson portrayed as “a lunatic” because he wasn’t the only one frustrated with the school’s athletic program.

“A lot of parents are upset. This is not a single incident, and if they don’t take care of it, it could escalate,” she said, declining to elaborate.

Apparently, from the article, the coach made his (the coach's) kid the quarterback.

Fuck Texas.

Back to my gridiron days. I think they can be summed up thusly: One game The Evil Twin rushed for 125 yards. In the same game I had 110 yards in penalties.

Ig'nant Hicks

One of the nice things about science is it's fairly colorblind, gender-blind (despite recent arguments in the media), nationality-blind, etc.
Apparently not for these assholes.
I mean you're gonna pass up Tongwon because he can't pronounce "L"? Go fuck yourself, he's a kickass scientist.
And students? Please. Getting lazier and lazier. I remember lecturing and we always put the powerpoint online so they could download it. One student came up to me and said "Where online is what you're saying?" I said the address we gave at the beginning of class. He said "No, what you're saying." I said the powerpoint is on that address, he said "No, what you're saying."
Figure it out yet? He wanted a transcription of the words that were actually coming out of my fucking mouth. You know, the shit you're supposed to TAKE FUCKING NOTES ON!
Lazy fucker.
Also, one day I was guest lecturing and had problems with my presentation. No problem I'll just do it on the board. You know, the way it's been done for most of ever. Some ass actually complained to the instructor that because of that they didn't have anything online it was unfair to him because he missed class (!) and I should provide him with notes (fuck you).

Best line of the article. From a student: "There were days when I would go home and have to study the material that they had taught..." I know I'm kinda taking it out of context but it's still hilarious.

So that whole "for the students" thing means shit to me. Sure I had instructors that were difficult to understand. Guess what, if you try and spend a fraction of the time trying to understand them in class rather than sleeping, gossiping with friends, complaining about the instructor, or listening to your iPod (I had a student on a walkman once) you might be able to do it.

Found via Tightly Wound.

I feel a little like the Evil Doctor now. "These dim-bulbs. Back in my day we had to use a slide rule..."

OK. Here's the newest addition to our menagerie. Gets here April 20th. His name is Orson. He's gonna have his hands full with the kitties.

Ramblings

Sin City was awesome. Michael Madsen did a pretty terrible acting job, even for Michael Madsen, but everything else was tip-fucking-top. Even Lady Head enjoyed it. And she hates going to movies.
Evil Doctor, why the fuck should I care if that fatass Ebert likes it or not? I'm confused by your comment. Are you using him as an authority to rebuff my "Critics don't know shit" line of thought?
I never read movie reviews. If I want an opinion I'll ask the Ash-hole, St. Jude, or someone else whose opinion I respect. Not some pretentious dil-rod.

Moving on. I've been watching Monk recently (thank you DVR). Pretty kickass show. I've always been a fan of Tony Shaloub and Ted Levine. And they recently added Traylor Howard, who I used to have a crush on, so it's even better.

Deadwood is probably the greatest show ever.

For all the cardinals that read this blog, The Head endorses Lehmann for the papacy. If not him then Danneels. For Christ's sake, not Ruini.

This guy is really fucked in the head.

Ken Bicknell needs to relax. Let it go man.

My new favorite poker game is Omaha 8/b.

It's time to prove to your friends that you're worth a damn. Sometimes that means dying, sometimes it means killing a whole lot of people.

3 hours and counting until I go see Sin City.
To quote St. Jude: "My boner's got a boner."