Merry Christmas!

I wish the beat for all of you out there in Blogland.
I thought I posted a long post last night but it's obvious I fucked that up. Not surprising. The Ash-hole and I have drank a homewrecker a day since everyone got here. The liquor store thinks we are the best customers ever. Luckily, I've been using my anti-hangover tips so I'm solid in the mornings. Way too many cigarettes though.
Normally, I'm all that is man, but the Ash-hole beat me yesterday. Usually I wake up after a night of heavy drinking with the Ash-hole and do a shot of whiskey to emasculate him. So, at 8:30 I put on "We Built This City" by Jefferson Starship (our kickoff drinking song for the trip - see The Ash-hole's blog) and downed a whiskey. Pretty tough but I am all that is man. Then, after the shuddering stopped, I was watching TV downstairs. The Ash-hole comes downstairs and sits next to me - with a giant fucking martini! Touche. I tried to figure out how to top that one and couldn't figure anything out. I finally poured myself a big cognac which is harsh in the morning. While I didn't think that gave me the win I think it got me some respect. The Evil Twin basically starts drinking wine and smoking weed at 6am. I'm not real healthy right now.
Leaving the house and dealing with merchants is exausting. We're pretty stupid right now.
Besides drinking Bukowski-style, we've just laid around pants-less and ate steak and played games and watched movies. We're about to open presents and we're making chocolate martinis.
What a great Christmas. I hope all of yours kick as much ass as mine is.

Tuesday - 1 day 'til vacation

Yeah right. It's 10:40 and I'm fakking leaving.
Ash-holes are coming tomorrow! The Evil Twin is home cleaning our gutters and raking leaves. Man, give that guy some weed and beer and he'll work all day for you.
Moving on I'm going shopping for the remainder of my xmas presents. So, if you hadn't told me already, be sure to let me know what you want.
Be sure to check out Lady Head's blog. It's on my sidebar. She finally got off her lazy ass and posted. Lots of rage in that girl.
Well, I'm about to start a huge frigging bender so expect a lot of insenible posts over the next week or two. Well, more insensible than normal.
Merry Christmas you wonderful bastards!

Ugh

Big boy poker tournament yesterday. Started with 2014 people. With 250 left I was 22nd in chips. They paid the top 225 and 1st place was $85K. Over a 8-1 favorite against another all-in big stack with one card to come and I get el shafterino. A couple of hands later I'm out in 234th with no money. That ace doesn't come on the river and I'm coasting to at least $1500 with a good shot at a five figure payday.
Sorry, trying to avoid poker talk on this here blog, but just had to bitch. Lots o' money there. We were gonna have a party and everyone was coming. Next time I'll get it.

The Evil Twin came into town yesterday and is staying through Xmas and possibly New Year's. The Ash-holes are coming in town Weds. for Xmas. Gonna be a blast. I went to the liquor store and stocked up. Vic sent me a Omaha Steaks gift pack. Like 30 pieces of meat (filets, strips, pork, fish) and potatoes etc. For Xmas itself, we're doing the rack of lamb, etc. (as always these days).
For new year's we are having a vodka party. We're making pitchers of madrases, salty dogs, screwdrivers, bloody mary's, and martinis. Kid Awesome (nee St. Jude) will be coming down from Cleveland for the festivities.

Lady Head bought me a big flat panel TV for Xmas. Pretty excited about it. I get it the day after Xmas.

Tired today. The ET and I went to a party at this theater last night. Good time. Paying for it today. Not hungover, just tired.

Head out!

St. Jude is dead

Long live Kid Awesome .

Cash Money Brothers

God Damn It. I was watching shit thith weekend and was pithed that people were making fun of other peopleth thpeech impedimenth. Rage building. Thee, the Head had a lithp growing up and, when your name is Tham it can get pretty fruthtrating. Now it is more minor, only really coming out when I'm drunk or dry but it pitheth me off when people make fun of otherth. I'll fucking kill you all.
Don't fucking do it.

Showdown, shootout, spread fear within, without

OK all of you budding dream analysts, in addition to all of the filthy sex dreams I had this doozy:

I'm building a fighter jet with Simon Pegg, from Shaun of the Dead, and Adam from Mythbusters to rob a bank. We built one and flew it around for a while. Then for some reason we had to build another one. We built it and were all driving it down the street (it was a four seater - I was in the back) and couldn't get enough lift to take off, plus there was a weird magnetic field messing with my metal teeth and ankle braces (?). Then we stopped to figure out what was wrong and it turns out Adam (who by now had morphed into Professor Snape) forgot to put the wooden chair in the back on the box it needs to go on to prevent the magnetic field from forming (?). So now he and Simon argue and now Snape's not coming on the robbery. But he threatens to tell the R.A.F. (we're in England) about our plane exceeding the speed limit so we take him along, but I get shotgun now. So we get off the ground and Simon decides to do a loop to make sure everything's running well. On the descent from the loop I can see we're gonna crash. Simon say we should probably eject but he can't remember how. I hit my eject button and fly out (we were perpendicular to the ground so I just shot out parallel to the ground. They didn't make it and there was a huge fireball.
Now I'm next to the wreckage across the street from Little League Baseball (in England of course) and I hear sirens. There's a firetruck and cop car pulling across the street. Time to take off. I run through the baseball field, very worried about everyone noticing my "flight shorts" (which look suspiciously like Umbros) and figuring I was in on the heist (even though we didn't rob anyone yet). I run through the English countryside and to my house where my mom tells me she saw on the news that my two friends died.
Then I wake up.

Fuck you, you fucking Scrooges

Turbo has inspired me to do a Christmas post. Basically it can be boiled down to this "I love Xmas, and anyone who doesn't is an asshole."
But, since this is a blog I do have to say more.
I'm so sick of all the cool kids complaining about the (pick one) fakeness of, consumerism of, religiousness of, family obligations of, or constuctedness (is that a word?) of xmas (the list goes on and on). It's xmas! I don't care if you're christian, muslim, jewish, agnostic, hindi, atheist or what. It's the season for getting together with your loved ones. Both my parents and all my grandparents are dead and most of the rest of my family is estranged, but I still love xmas, jerk. This xmas is the first one in our house. We are having the Ash-holes and my crackhead brother out for about a week. It's about the love, you fucksticks. Also, chances are you may get an extra day or two off work. And a license to overeat and overdrink b/c of all the parties. Parties all the time!
Sure there are assholes about but, all in all, comeplete strangers are wishing each other a merry xmas. I fucking love going to the mall during xmas season. I love xmas music. I love xmas decorations. I love xmas parties. I love the food, the booze, the presents, everything. I love fucking xmas - period.
If you don't, you are all a bunch of jerks. That's my opinion. And here, my opinion is LAW, motherfuckers!
Did you ever think that maybe trying to enjoy the season a little may put a smile on some of your friends and relatives' face? Is that such a horrible thing?
But for fuck's sake - get a fake tree. Cutting down a real one so it can stand in your living room for a couple of weekes is way fucked.
Merry Christmas from The Head!

I fucked your girlfriend last night

Random Thoughts:

Finally, Dimebag gets some respect.

So a while ago I read Ben Franklin's biography by Walter Isaacson. I also read his autobiography and various other writings. Man, he was an asshole. His poor wife. His poor children. What a dick.

Read Moscow 1812: Napolean's Fatal March by Adam Zamoyski. Great friggin' book.

Watch "Airline" on A+E. What a great show. It's basically following these people who work for Southwest Airlines around as they deal with problems. Their victories become your victories.

Also on that show I was reminded of my belief that being friends or socializing with a stand-up comedian must suck. I just imagine they're always "on." Must be very annoying.

Kill Peterson!

I find Jennifer Garner to be a bit to mannish for my tastes. Have I said this before?

The other day I had something urgent that required blogging but I was away form a computer and I can't remember what it was.

And you knew it too, you're that kind of dude.

Possessed, I feel a conquering will down inside me

Got to love when you roll in at 11 and you still beat your boss in. So obviously I've been here since 7:30.
Lady Head is sick as a dog. The flu or some shit. So I decided to take an ounce of prevention and sleep in today. Love sleeping.
My current healthy state, and Lady Head's illness, got me thinking about things. She's gonna be stuck there for the next couple days. One of the ailments I'm immune to is cabin fever, stir craziness, whatever. After a couple days in the Head-dome Lady Head is completely wacko. Me, I'm fine. I can stay at the house forever. I attribute it to my rich inner life.
What's the difference between these two types of people? Who knows? All I know is I'll be sitting there, enjoying the fruits of my labor as well as our fuzzy menagerie and Lady Head will come up to me and say "If we don't get the fuck out of here I'm going to smother you in your sleep." Huh? So we go to a restaurant or something and she's fine. She'd never make it in the bomb shelter.
Maybe I really am the next evolutionary step. Homo sapians headius.

On an unrelated note - is it impossible for college radio to get deejays that don't sound like every other college radio dj in the country? Same lackluster, bored monotone. I'm listening to our station and they sound exactly like the people populating all of the college radio stations at all the colleges I've ever been to.
Uh, that was Stump with Cardboard Box. Up next we've got a Citizen Jane double shot. You're listening to Jame's House of Alt here on 91.1 WSUK.
They're like Steven Wright in Resevoir Dogs.
C'mon people, get a little enthusiasm! I know you care about this music.

Dimebag Darrell

Respect, walk

Dimebag Darrell deserves his own post. People aren't taking this seriously. Sure, every year on the anniversary of Lennon getting killed we have to hear everyone from CNN to shitty radio stations talk about it ad infinitum. Well, I guess it ends the next day but I needs some pretension on this here blog.
Anyhoo, why isn't this on the news more? He was in Pantera for Christ's sake! Yeah, I just compared Pantera to the Beatles. Fuck you too. I like The Beatles but Pantera was special too me. Vulgar Display of Power is one of the greateat albums ever. It came out and TOPPED the billboard in 1992. At the height of the shitty grunge movement, Pantera topped it. No whiny introspection, no oversensitive crybabying in a "rock" costume. Just general badassedness.
Pantera is what Slayer, Sepultura, etc. tried to be - but ain't.
My college career was defined by three albums - Cypress Hill's Black Sunday, Beastie Boy's Paul's Boutique (by then an oldie), and VDOP.
All this week I will listen to Pantera nonstop.
R.I.P. Dimebag.

Suck it people

Originally I had a "Monday" quote up there but I'm going to gradually try and de-suckify my blog.

OK, weekend. Friday - girls night. I whooped some ass as the manservant. They had the bell and I kept making drinks, cleaning up spills, switching movies, etc.. Lady Head and the Canadian had champagne cocktails, Topiary Girl had Frangelico, and Madame Nonesuch was drinking dirty martinis. I made crab-stuffed mushroom caps and double chocolate muffins for snacking. Basically I just played poker until I heard the bell. Won a couple of hundred so it was a good night. I also had that "Monster" bacon double cheeseburger from Hardee's. Was fantastic but I thought it would be bigger. Not as impressive as the commercials make out.

Saturday - TV, poker, video games. Watched I'll Sleep when I'm Dead. Now, Clive Owen's the man but this movie sucked. GTA is getting even better.

Sunday - went to the Coach store and bought one of Lady Head's Xmas presents, another fucking purse. This makes 7,000 I think.
Finally saw Blade: Trinity. Good. Jessica Biel was hot and kicked a lot of ass. Wesley was awesome as usual. Ryan Reynolds was good - he basically was the same character he was in Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place except he shot people. Parker Posey was phenomenal. Even Triple H was good.
Also I saw some interesting previews. Now XXX sucked. Really sucked. Truly awful. And they're making a sequel. But, here's the best part - Ice Cube is the new XXX. Might be worth a look since the Cube is fantastic.
Oh I forgot to mention - add Germain-Robin grappa to my drinking list. Willi got me a bottle some time ago and I loved it. Got a new bottle of a different varietal and it's also wonderful. So any grappa by them. Grappa's funny, it's either good or fucking terrible. No middle ground.

Today I'm working on figures for this neverending paper. Lady Head's neuroanatomy final is today so we're probably gonna tear it up tonight.

Well it's time to work I guess. Like a sucker.

And I'll be your manservant for the evening.

Well dinner last night was a smashing success. May have had too much to drink though. Two predinner martinis, wine throughout the courses, and then 2 grappas and 2 ports. Not hitting on all cylinders today, that's for sure.
Lady Head's soup was fantastico. That woman's got some talent. My lamb was wonderful of course.
Tonight Lady Head is having a Girls Night In. Sounds great for me right? Night to myself - gambling, strippers, drugs, etc.
Nope.
I'm the manservant at these things. Basically I cook appetizers and desserts for the ladies to munch on and play bartender. Lady Head has a little bell and whenever she rings it I come refresh people's drinks and such. I have to figure out what to serve. I'm thinking champagne cocktails a la An Affair to Remember. Seems perfect for Girls Night In. In the past I've served cosmopolitans, blue martinis, etc. but I quickly learned that the other women did not have the tolerance of Lady Head and there were a lot of very drunk women very early in the night.
Have you seen my balls? I need them back.
Well, I do have some work to do today so I'm off.

Oh, and R.I.P. Dimebag Darrell.

I'll make him an offer he can't refuse.

Put the kettle on, I have stories.
Baby on Board has asked me to be li'l Noah's godfather! I'm giddy as a school girl. That little guy will benefit from all the wisdom and skills I have. Another Head in training. I'm misty.

Well tonight we're having our liquor store manager (David) over for dinner. We are starting with butternut squash soup, then spinach salad with goat cheese and pine nuts. The main course will be rosemary and dijon rack of lamb with garlic mashed potatoes. For dessert will be a Vahlrona chocolate tornado (I think that's what it's called, it's the dense torte with a liquid chocolate center) and ice cream.

He's bringing the wine. Should be interesting.

Happy hump day everyone!

First off, Blade: Trinity comes out today. I'm going to go see a matinee. Gotta figure out how to get out of here early again. Gotta do it ninja-style.

Actually it may be a problem since I have to speak to groups of "gifted" undergrads about science ALL fucking afternoon. Seriously these things suck.
A bunch of annoying, overachieving grade grubbers. Always get the same stupid questions too. They always ask me why do systems neuroscience when molecular/ biochem can tell us everything we need to know? Yeah fuckhead, take your computer, smash it with a hammer, put all the pieces in a blender, puree, then take them all out, analyze them and tell me how photoshop works.

I'll probably have to go to the movie tonight. Like a sucker.
Wish me luck.

Weekend Recap

OK, don't miss The Head's Hangover Tips a little down the page.
This weekend was cool. Friday was the Canadians' Cops party. Lady Head and I went as Dog the Bounty Hunter and his wife. Pictures forthcoming. They throw such good parties. What's good about them is everyone is piss drunk. No stuffiness. Even the old people are wasted.
We moved the dinner w/ the liquor store guy to this week. So Lady HEad called in sick to that other party and she cooked a wonderful meal. Goat cheese spinach salad, linguini with butternut squash and bacon, and these fantastic meatballs with ricootta cheese. She's a talented lady.
Then we wathce Audition. Wow. What. The. Fuck. Kind of a disturbing movie. The funny thing is I went on http://www.imdb.com to see what other people thought of it and there was this one guy bitching that it was an unoriginal "cookie-cutter" movie that people watched so they could pretend they have strong stomachs. Guaranteed that guy is gonna die alone and unloved.
Then we (read: I, since Lady Head was en-beaujolais-ed and sleeping) watched Shiner. Not Michael Caine's best but still watchable. It did make me wish I had some thugs on payroll that drove me around and followed my orders to beat people up, tip over cars in traffic disputes, etc. I'm taking applications.
I'd like to see more of Frank Harper in movies (he was Stoney in this one and Dog in Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels.
Sunday was typical. I still hate Tom Goes to the Mayor however. I tried, Turbo, and it SUUUUUUUCKS. Venture Brothers kicks serious ass.
Outtie.

Remedial Drinking

Inspired by Girl Friday's post regarding hangover hell and one of the misguided comments about water being the best thing for a hangover, I decided to do some educating.
Now I know that the overwhelming majority of people who read this blog are heavy drinkers (and I'm very concerned about you all) so this post may not concern you but we here at The Head take our job here very seriously. These are things I thought everyone knew but some people just suffer through a hangover, thinking it's some kind of penance for the night before. Ridiculous.
So, without further ado, The Head's Hangover Tips.

First off a lot of advice starts with limiting your drinking or alternating an alcoholic beverage with a nonalcoholic one. Yeah right. We here at The Head are realists. Nothing more to be said here.

OK, so you don't have to limit your drinking. One of the things I found is that one of the things that exacerbate the hangover is a lack of sleep. You know, you're going clubbing, out at 10, in at 4. That's no good. C'mon people, we're not 22 anymore. Happy Hour. Did you hear that? HAPPY HOUR! One of the greatest anti-hangover strategies ever. Out at 5:30, unconscious by 10:30. Full night's rest and you're halfway there.

This next one is a nobrainer but so many people, myself included, forget it. Eat dinner. Preferably starchy. Sandwich, gyro, burrito, something.

Take a shower before you go to bed. Another exacerbator (is that a word?) of hangovers is the psychological aspects. You know, you wake up all greasy and smelling of booze and cigarettes. It's not good for your morale. Seriously, no matter how much the bed, couch, floor's siren song is tempting you, get in that fucking shower. This is where it's useful to have someone there to spot you in ther shower so you don't fall and to make sure you actually soap us and don't just stand under the water. Someone else is also good if they weren't out with you. You climb into bed thinking you're as fresh as a daisy and they kick you out and make you take a shower because you reek of whiskey and cigarettes.

Multivitamin. Before bed. Seriously. You need those B-complex vitamins. Especially niacin. Also zinc, riboflavin, etc. A lot of these are either reduced by alcohol intake or act as cofactors for either the alcohol dehydrogenase (breaks down the alcohol) or the aldehyde dehydrogenase (breaks down the aldehyde that alcohol is broken down to - this compound is what gives you the hangover!). Trust me on this one. Before you argue - is it that fucking hard to swallow a pill? What's it gonna hurt?

Next, Gatorade (or another sports drink), NOT water. It's not just the fluids, it's electrolyes as well. Think about drinking as running a marathon. You're losing fluids. And not just water. It will help that deep down body thirst. I also hear pedialyte is good but that's basically expensive Gatorade so, eh. Both before bed and the next morning.

Keep it relatively cool in your bedroom, or wherever you're sleeping. Nothing's worse than waking up hungover and it's hot. I recommend 60-65 farenheit. Yeah, well that's why you bought that down comforter, ass.

OK, that's bedtime preparation. Now to the next morning. Gatorade or apple juice of course. Constantly.

If it's the weekend, fight down a beer or something. It's will help with the withdrawal.

I recommend Excedrin for headaches. Triple threat. Asprin, acetominophen, and caffeine.

Pepto-bismol. Sometimes you can take this before bed as a preventative measure. But it's gold the next day.

Greasy breakfast. Don't even think about health here. I know a guy who feels guilty in the morning b/c he drank the night before so he wants to eat healthy. Bran muffins, etc. Huge friggin mistake. Corned beef hash/ pork chops/ steak and eggs; biscuits and gravy, hash browns, etc. Lady Head found some magic cheese grits that work well for her.

Jerk off. And not that slow, romantic self-love you usually perform when you're alone on a Saturday night. Savage yourself. All bizness.

Kurt Russell movies if it's on the weekend.

OK, that's the primer for you being hangover free. As an added bonus I will tell you the recipe for my amazing antihangover shake.

1-2 cups Milk
Ice Cream
1 TB fresh coffee grounds (seriously, it makes a delicious and caffeinated shake)
Banana
1 TB creatine
1 shot vodka, rum, etc

Drink with a multivitamin and 2 Excedrin.

Have a great day!

Deconstruct this, biyatch!

I like this article
'cause I fucking hate Derrida.

Also I love the Onion headline:

Derrida "Dies"

Next time come strapped with a fucking pamper

Tick...tick...tick
That's what my day has been like. Actually it's been more like:
Tick............................................tick...............
...........................................tick
You get the idea. Hangover is gone but still bored.

Well I have to go to the costume shop today. Tonight the Canadians are having a Cops party. Basically you go as a cop or someone they're arresting. Naturally I'm going as Dog the Bounty Hunter and Lady Head is going as Beth.
Gonna tie one on tonight booooyyyyy.
And maybe apprehend fugitives.

Then tomorrow there's this shitty party to go to, but I was having the manager of our liquor store over for dinner (is that the sign of a problem drinker?). We moved it to next week but the excuse is still solid. Lady Head couldn't get out of it. Ha ha ha. This woman having the party is a real piece of work. Total Psycho (yes, with a capital P). So Lady Head will be at the party and I'll be home in front of the fire kicking it Head-style.

Flash: BK boycott is back on!!! Not due to Lady Head's sickness but b/c they started those fucking commercials again.
St. Jude tells me McDonald's has some awful commercials with deejays and shit that makes it boycott-worthy but I haven't seen them yet.

I should be paid just to be The Head. Work is for suckers. Does anyone want to finance me?

I feel like I'm missing something important I must tell you.

Recipe for Awesomeness.

Eat 2 bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit value meals for breakfast. Skip out of work early. Screw off the rest of the day. Then get drunk and play poker. Get to the final 7 out of 600 with a shitload of chips. Piss them all away in one hand due to a huge drunken mistake. Drink more. Get to bed about 1:30.
Wake up at 6:30. Go lift. Lift really heavy squat. There, that's better. Feeling great! Blech.
Stop at alpine bagel. Get every aspect of your order messed up and say fuck it. Eat it anyway. Blech.
Come in to work. Walk around. Almost make coffee but the only coffee here is the chocolate rasberry type from Topiary Girl. Think about walking WAY downstairs to the coffeeshop. Decide it's too much effort.
Type a lame post.
-end transmission-

Head Thanksgiving Meal. Most of the turkey not shown. 

OK, not saying she's lying, but when I left to go play cards at 7 her and Madam Nonesuch had just started drinking. The bottle was at about the blue arrow. When I returned at midnight, the bottle was at the red arrow.
Not that impressive you say? That bottle is a homewrecker! 1.75L. The vermouth bottle on the right is a normal fifth for scale. 2 dainty women.

I am a fucking genius

OK, so I'm lucky enough to have a job where I am often not in lab (library, other buildings, etc.). So if I want to leave and go home I just do. No excuse needed.
But I often think of you, gentle readers, and how you can get out of work when I send you home (to celebrate Head Days etc.).
Last night I came up with what I believe is the greatest "I need to go home from work" excuse ever. Lady Head disagreed and said I should post it and see what you think.
OK, here it is:
You disappear for about 5-10 minutes from your desk. You then walk into your boss's office, close the door, and say quietly "I just crapped my pants." Tell him/her that you had to throw out your underwear and need to go home.
Guaranteed to work.

Death to Burger King! A guestpost by Lady Head

Five years ago, on a day not unlike this, I ate a Burger King chicken sandwich. What followed should not be accurately described in the interest of decency, but suffice to say i suffered what probably was the worst episode of food poisoning in my life. For years i swore off Burger King--full well knowing that maybe, just maybe it *wasnt* the sandwich that destroyed my intestinal stability. After all, i worked in a lab that studied conditioned taste aversions (CTAs) with Hot Rod for some years. A CTA basically occured when my body said: you got sick and you ate Burger King chicken. Dont fucking touch it again. But my mind knew CTAs could be tricky and the illness could have been coincidence. But 5 years i let my body tell Burger King chicken sandwiches to fuck off. In fact, i boycotted the entire establishment. Until i married the Head. Just this past year, i let him convince me to eat Burger King. Probably cuz i was on the Atkins diet at the time, and burger patties from anywhere sounded better than those cardboard tasting low-carb pasta noodles. So i ate a couple patties and i was fine and life was good. And as Hot Rod and i know, CTAs will fade with time. My 5-year CTA ended yesterday evening, when Lord Head convinced me to eat this spicy chicken sandwich from Burger King. As we pulled through the drive thru i says to Head, i says "if this chicken sandwich makes me sick, WE (not the royal "we" but WE as in Head AND I) will be boycotting Burger King forever." Head giggled. What were the odds of me getting sick again, 5 years later? Head never believed Burger King chicken could have harmed me in the first place.

But the tyrant rose up to punish me yet again. By midnight yesterday, i was intimately involved with the trash can next to my bed. I was PUUUU-KING. And not one of those cute little vomits where i could still carry on a conversation with Lady Ash-hole between chucks. This was fucking-kill-me-right-now-Satan-is-leaving-my body-in-an-unholy-rage-vomit. Vomit that was so fucking disgusting that its mere presence just caused me to vomit more. I had the chills and when i finally stopped yakking, my stomach felt like it contained broken glass. When i woke up this morning, my voyage in to class was curtailed by the other end of my alimentary canal, which apparently felt like it missed out on the action last night and now needed to participate in the fun. In fact, my typing here has been punctuated by trips to the old l'eau.

So FUCK BURGER KING. That cocksucker fast-food fuckwad is gonna pay. Head's gonna try to blame it on the vodka. Never fucking mind the quart of vodka i washed the sandwich down with last night. Vodka-induced puking is not the same. Its much more pleasant. And vodka doesnt give me the poops. And if it were the vodka, well hell, i'd be puking all the time since i pour about a quart of it down my throat every other evening. I've got one hell of a CTA to Burger King now, and i will never fucking ever eat at that shit-hole again. And that's not good enough. I'm out for blood. So it is now my mission to turn the Head against Burger King. I wont stop until his Burger King boycott is permanent. Death to Burger King. Bitch, i'm after you now. Hell hath no fury like a woman's intestinal tract scorned. Twice. Five years apart. Join me in solidarity, friends. In the FUCK-BK campaign. Death to Burger King!

You'd better put out after this drink

Coincident with a comment on Isabella's blog, I just saw this .
Who's with me?